Monday, August 1, 2011

A Totally Random Story

Okay, this really has nothing to do with anything, except that it made me smile (behind my hand), which probably says something bad about me.

A couple of weeks ago I was in church. (That’s not the bad part, so just stop right there.) Anyway, I was in church, and a little kid in front of me was playing with one of those board things that you lace a shoelace kind of string through. You know what I’m talking about, right? No?

Okay, it looks like this.

(Can I just say how hard it is to find a picture of a toy when you have no idea what it is called? You type in “board that you lace string through” and get a racy picture of some woman’s leg. GET BACK HERE YOU PERVS!)

(It appears the toy may or may not be called a “lacing board” for future reference)

Anyway, the kid, who looked about a year and a half old, was clearly confused on how to use his lacing boards. (See I can be taught.) He would lace his string through a couple of holes in one board. then start in on the holes of another board.

His mother kept unlacing the boards and showing him how to do it the way the toy was designed. But a couple of minutes later, he would pull the string out and start it his way again. Finally she gave up and let him do his thing.

I should have been listening to the speaker, but I kept finding myself distracted by what the kid was doing. After about fifteen minutes of studious work, he had managed to tie four boards and three laces into a device about three feet long.

Quietly, he dragged his creation out to the end of the bench, and, swinging like a pint-sized David about to slay Goliath, managed to hit a lady who looked a lot like this in the head.

Except that she wasn’t smiling like that after she got whapped in the noggin by a toddler with a lethal set of lacing board nunchucks.

Now I know you’re expecting some kind of writing-related message here. Surely I wouldn’t post a story like this simply for its deviant humor.

Okay, message for the day. Just because most of your friends or family think your story should go a certain way, doesn’t make it right. Stick to the vision in your head and maybe you’ll knock someone out. (Figuratively speaking.)


Robin Weeks said...

Way to link, Jeff! :) See, we can learn things in sacrament meeting, even while all the kids play with their toys, causing havok and mayhem. :)

Donna K. Weaver said...

That was a stretch for sure, but nicely done.

Funny story.

Magenta said...

lol. great punchline. ^,^

Becca said...

Ummm... blog vacation? And I just now read the last few posts? And I owe you (because you DESERVE it) huge, huge congratulations?

Yahoo for Zombie Kid. Yahoo for you. Yahoo for school. (If you know which movie that comes from, please don't abandon all respect you may have ever had for me.)

I'm thrilled for your big news. And the lady with the glasses that got beaned in the head. Church. It isn't for the faint of heart. Or weak of head.

ali said...

ROFL! Way to pull out an analogy there, Jeff!

And it's MRS. BEASLEY!!! I had one of those dolls when I was a little kid! Ahhh .... now I'm on a big nostalgic kick .....

Heidi said...

Those lacing boards are Mensa approved toys. The kid may be designing nun-chucks now, but in thirty years he'll be designing rockets. In Mandarin Chinese.

Also, I like your little old lady doll. I'd like to have her as a next-door neighbor, though I think I'd want her to stay away at night and on October 21.

Oh! Yes! Robin gave me the Liebster award and then told me how cool your blog was and suggested that I pass the award on to you. So *ding* you've been Liebstered.

Jennifer said...

So my daughter and I got online to see when your third book would come out because she is about 30 pages away from being done with the second book. I'v been reading the books with her just to make sure they are child appropriate, she's 9 and I'm picky, and I've enjoyed them. First of all Congratulation!!!! That's amazing. But we are left wondering about the 3rd book. Is it going to be held off until 2013? Or will it be coming out before that. I have to tell you, my daughter is very picky about books and your's are the only ones she's stuck with. Her grandma bought them for her birthday last year and she loves them. Didn't like Harry Potter, but loves your sci-fi take on a kids book. I've appreciated your upholding of standards through out the two books and hope the others are the same, unlike Harry Potter and is the reason I'm reading them now. So Thanks and we hope the third book will be out soon. And also, I liked your analogy.